RL Messy Critical Stories



  • Describe a time(s) that you did the Mortal equivalent of a Messy Crit. Each person shall decide for themselves what that means, just so we don’t get lost in that debate.


  • Unbound

    Friend and I were once assigned to weed the garden as kids. We did a great job, tore out every single weed. Unfortunately, we weren’t very good at identifying plants, so we wound up ripping out the stuff that had been intentionally planted there as well >.>


  • Lead Storytellers Administrators

    Assigned once. And never again? 🙂


  • Storytellers

    One time I was damned and determined to try out for Rome and Juliet at my high school, though I was feeling increasingly awful and in a lot of pain.

    There wasn’t a possibility to reschedule the audition even if you were dying so naturally, I sucked it up and did the thing. I went to both days of audition and the second day, was reading for the part of Mercucio - his death scene!

    I did great because, well, not much acting was required since the person reading for Romeo had his hand on my back just so and it felt like I may actually be dying.

    In short, flawless performance.

    I told my stepmom what was up when she picked me up from the audition and was rushed to the Urgent Care. Ended up on bedrest for several days.

    And that’s the story of the first time I had kidney stones.

    PS - was cast as Benvolio



  • I had a near identical one to Bitey’s.
    Mom told me to use this pole to knock a few pears off some of the oveloaded pear tree limbs so they wouldn’t snap. Got lost in the doing of it and knocked like 90% of the pears off.

    This was exactly one week before our the people buying our house were gonna move in.

    The pear trees were what made them choose our house and not another.



  • @onyx said in RL Messy Critical Stories:

    I had a near identical one to Bitey’s.
    Mom told me to use this pole to knock a few pears off some of the oveloaded pear tree limbs so they wouldn’t snap. Got lost in the doing of it and knocked like 90% of the pears off.

    This was exactly one week before our the people buying our house were gonna move in.

    The pear trees were what made them choose our house and not another.

    I was 16. My mom still brings it up 20 years later. Like she just did so the day after the funeral a couple weeks ago.


  • Unbound

    @nik said in RL Messy Critical Stories:

    Assigned once. And never again? 🙂

    How did you know?!



  • I actually slipped on a banana peel in the middle of London, in front of lots of cars. I literally did the slip, air time and then landed on my bum. There were lots of beeps of support from all the cars stopped at the red light. I still laugh about it.



  • Was helping Mom repaint the house either barefoot or in flip flops (yes, I know it was dumb). When I finished the section I was doing, I jumped down from the step later. There was a tiny, tiny section of stump left from a bush that’d been taken out at some point. Embedded deep into my foot.



  • Don’t think to mean of me I feel bad about these. Story one: I was in middle School and was being teased, people knew they could do it cause I was a big softy almost 6’0 and weighting 460 lbs. Anyway it was gym class I was being teased about taking a digger on the floor and left feeling like shit, then without realizing I came back and broke a plastic hockey stick over the kids back. One hit just destroyed the stick.

    Story two: about the same time frame, I was in Little league on a camping trip, I was swimming and this kid was making fun of my body, I was and still am a big guy, and I let the beast go. When I was walking away I said fuck it and went after him, and wound up holding his head under the water by his neck for about two minutes ish. Before I realized what was going on and let him go, while his crew that was originally laughing stared in silence that I almost took out their boss. To this day I’ve never gotten that angry nor have I let that shit off it’s leash.



  • -Please, Fede, check the tires of your old car with the new air compressor I bought. It’s easy to use.
    -Ok, Dad.

    Tire 1: ok
    Tire 2: ok
    Tire 3: ok
    Tire 4: BANG!

    scared the neighbours, the ravens, and pulverized the tire 😞