Recording pending. I’ll need to multi-track it.
Aidan:
Who does she think she is, that Malk has tangled with The wrong man! No one says no to Aidan!
Darien:
Heh heh. Darn right
Aidan:
Dismissed! Rejected, publicly humiliated. Why, it’s more than I can bear
Darien:
More leers?
Aidan:
What for? Nothing helps, I’m disgraced
Darien:
Who, you, never Aidan, you’ve got to pull yourself together
Darien:
Gosh it disturbs me to see you, Aidan
Looking so down in the dumps
Every Nos here’d love to be you, Aidan
Even considering your humps
There’s no Nosferatu admired as you
You’re everyone’s favorite spy!
Everyone fears to be followed by you
And it’s not very hard to see why
No one sneaks like Aidan
No one stinks like Aidan
No one flips a big creepy knife like Aidan
For there’s no Nos in town half as smarmy
Perfect when he’s got his mask or
You can ask Tuck, or any old torrie…
And they’ll tell you they prefer when he keeps his mask on (PLEASE!)
All:
No one smiths like Aidan
stalks sewer pipes like Aidan
Darien:
No one’s got a puss filled fucking chin like Aidan
Aidan:
As a specimen, yes, I’m intimidating
All:
My, what a guy, that Aidan!
ALL:
Give five hurrahs
Give twelve hip-hips
Darien:
Aidan is the best
even when his pus drips!
All:
No one fights like Aidan
Kills sabbat, like Aidan
In a desperate fight, nobody bites like Aidan
Darien:
For there’s no one as creepy and crawly
Aidan:
As you see I’ve got ugly to spare
Darien:
Not a bit of him’s visually pleasing…
Aidan:
That’s right
And every last inch of me’s covered with (Toreador vomits here)
Darien:
No one hits like Aidan
Emmeric:
Matches wits like Aidan?
Darien:
In a pissing match nobody squirts like Aidan!
Aidan:
I’m especially good at ejaculating! (WHAT?!)
Emmeric:
That’s not what we meant!
Aidan:
When I was a lad I ate four dozen rats
Every morning to help me get fed!
And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen rats
So I’m roughly the size of a (Another Toreador vomits)
Everyone:
No one stabs like Aidan
Lays out slabs like Aidan
Emmeric:
Then goes tromping around looking fab like Aidan
Aidan:
I use corpses for all of my decorating!
All:
Say it again
Who’s a man among men
And then say it once more
Who’s the hero next door
Who’s a super success
Don’t you know? Can’t you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There’s just one guy in town who’s got all of it down
And his name’s A-I-D
A-I-D-S…
A-I-D-A, oh
AIDAN!
